And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
