id be glad to
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
