You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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