Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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