i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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