I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
