just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
