hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
