you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
