glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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