He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
