Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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