Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
