His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
