It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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