You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
