physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
