You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
