he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
