i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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