i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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