so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
