Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
