Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
