love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
