I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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