I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
