it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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