This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
