she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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