I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Come see our sink grown plant.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
