So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
