You smell like stripper and shame
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
