I swear she didn't look like that last week.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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