Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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