Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
