We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
