Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
