kristin has been a bad kristin
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
