This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
