hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
