Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
