i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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