How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
