Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
