You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
