I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I don't deserve a penis
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
