You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
