Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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