just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
